Anime Kindergarten
by Hoshiko-San
Summary: OMGLOLWTFBBQ! That's right, an update! God I'm slow... This one's for you legato! Or something like that....
1. First Day of Kindergarten

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime featured in this story.  
  
First day of kindergarten (part one)  
  
Syoaran walked into the class nervously. He stared at his classmates. "Sit down syoran." The teacher told him. He took a seat beside a red haired girl named misty (from pokemon). He watched a red haired boy in the back of the class (Touga from Utena) talk to a multicolored haired boy he had never seen before.  
  
"Okay class today we're going to read the little engine that could!" Teacher #1 said. The class moaned. "I'm reading the little engine that could and you're going to like it!" She said scowling. "Once upon a time,"  
  
1 hour later,  
  
"The end!" The teacher said sounding relived, "okay play nice, I'm going to the store to get some Advil and whiskey."  
  
Yoh and his spirit Amitamaru (from shaman king) headed to the arts and crafts table where they made paper swords. Syoran wanted to play too.  
  
"Yoh can I make swords too?" he asked. "Please."  
  
"Umm ye-nope." He said happily.  
  
"Please!" He begged.  
  
"Okay" He said. So they began making swords. Misty walked by.  
  
"Ewww Syoran is leaking in his panties!" She said pointing he looked down to see a certain 'wet area' in his pants. Yoh screamed like a sissy, then the teacher walked in.  
  
"Oh crap, I hate my job." She complained dragging syoran to the office and taking another large gulp of her whiskey.  
  
"Anyways, back to blocks!" Said the multi colour haired boy (which in case u haven't figured is yugi from yu-gi-oh) he begain stacking blocks once again. Just as he had finished his giant block castle he heard a voice.  
  
"Ha Ha Inu Yasha, You'll never get the shikon jewel!" Yelled Kikyo (from Inu Yasha) as she ran straight into yugi's castle.  
  
"NOOOO! ALL MY HARD WORK DESTROYED! U RUINED IT NOW YOU'LL PAY! *Lunges at kikyo*  
  
(Inu Yasha Thinking: Oh man this guy after the shikon jewel too!) *Lunges at yugi* The Shikon jewel fly's into the air and smashes into a ten dozen pieces which spread around the world. "Oh crap what now" *looks over to see kikyo pinning him to at the chalkboard with an arrow then falling over and dying* "I had to ask" *passes out*. Teacher walks in holding syoran with clean pants.  
  
"for pity sakes"She said releasing Inu Yasha form the chalk board. "oh crap we have a deceased one on the floor!" *picks up kikyo and throws down the corpse hatch* "now if the government asks nobody saw that. Okay?" They nodded. 


	2. First Day of kindergarten continued

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime featured in this story.  
  
First day of Kindergarten (continued)  
  
"Okay kids and that's how you sing you A B C's." The teacher said, after a VERY long presentation on how to learn your A B C's. "Any Questions?" Touga raises his hand. "Yes Touga" (for some unknown reason she already knows everybody's name O_o W/e)  
  
"Where do babies come from?" Touga asked.  
  
"Well first there's a man and a woman and they get in bed, then, I MEAN THAT'S OFF THE TOPIC!" She said in embarrassment and rage. Touga's eyes begin to water, "I mean kid's its snack time!"  
  
"YAY!" Everybody rushes to the snack table.  
  
"Today were having, BROCCOLI!" The teacher (I really need a name, o well not much longer now till she's gone Mwa Ha Ha! Plays evil music but instead on comes "Can u tell me how to get how to get to Sesame Street?" Hey who taped over this? Was it you???^_^) Said 'enthusiastically'.  
  
"EWW" Broccoli is shoved on to plates.  
  
"I Gots a better idea," Shouts Vash (trigun, excuse me if don't know exactly what he's like I've never seen the show, Luna-Kitsune-Blu gave me the idea and thanks, tell me how well I'm doing with capturing the character please!)  
  
"Let me guess, FOOD FIGHT!" Yugi yells. ( and Yami-yugi/ o.O thanks 4 reviewing! Yugi are u sure u wouldn't attack them? *shifty eyes* of course I would being my crazy self, and of course I attack people all the time for no reason! ^_^ XD O.o) Begins throwing food. The teacher takes cover under a desk cowering. "Oh have mercy on my soul!" She yelled as the children began hurling broccoli.  
  
Once the children finished their food fight, they noticed the teacher in a fetal position under the desk "Cool the teacher's mental!" Shouted Inu Yasha, "wait is that a shikon jewel? I think it is! I must get it!" Gets scissors and begins trying to disembowel the teacher. "AHHH for the love of Pete! (Huh who the hell is Pete anyways?)" She screamed, banging into Freeza (Dragon Ball Z) "Hey I'm trying to apply my lipstick!" (Lmao, well to tell you the truth me and my sister think that Freeza is transsexual, I mean come on! The girly voice, the lipstick, the matching nail polish and not to mention his scary breath that's so bad it kills people!) He said hitting her with his man purse. "Wait a second there's no shikon jewel in you! Oh man!" Inu Yasha said sounding disappointed. "That's right!" She said angrily. "But if it's not a shikon jewel it must be, AN EVIL SPIRIT!" He Yelled, "Prepare for an exorcism! Misty, if you please!" The teacher goes back into a fetal position on the floor muttering gibberish under her breath as the exorcism commenced.  
  
The teacher was ready to try anything. She noticed a mealworm and scooped it up putting it in a jar. "Hey look kids it's the class pet mealworm!" She said in a desperate attempt to keep them busy. "Here enjoy!" She said throwing the jar to them. "His name will be Scuttle!" Yugi said feeding him pencil shavings and eraser bits. "A SHIKON JEWEL SHARD!" Said Inu Yasha crazily chopping Scuttle in two. "No! Not scuttle!" Yugi cried. "Yes! The first shard of the shikon jewel!" Inu Yasha cried. "NOOOOOO! You killed him!" Yugi shouted. "This calls for a proper funeral" He continued putting scuttle into a shoebox then rushing outside.  
  
"We are here today to say goodbye to scuttle the mealworm. Scuttle was a good mealworm, he ate pencil shavings and eraser bits. Although we only knew him for a few minutes we all loved him." Vash said as they all cried. "Goodbye Scuttle!" He said chucking him into the dumpster. Then they heard a sound; it was a van with a light on top. It stopped in front of the school. The side read 'Craz-E-Mobile' several men went into the school. Moments later they came out with the teacher in a straight jacket on strapped down to a stretcher. " I'M PERFECTLY SANE I TELL YOU! It was the children I tell you! THE CHILDREN!" (Because no one ever suspects the children!) She screamed as the man put her in the van. Then they got in their car and drove away.  
  
"What now?" Misty asked. "Lets go inside and play blocks!" yelled Yoh. So they all went inside to play blocks.  
  
Meanwhile,  
  
"At least I can finally relax." The teacher sighed. Then out of nowhere pops Touga. "Where do babies come from?" He asked. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 


	3. The Substitute

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime featured in this story.  
  
The Substitute (dun dun dun!)  
  
The bell rang and the kids were heading inside. "I wonder who the substitute will be." Said Yoh. "Yes Yoh, I am sensing it won't work out though." Said Amidamaru sounding disappointed. They went into the classroom to see the new teacher. "W-who are you?" Yugi asked fearfully. "I am Luna- Kitsune-Blu supreme ruler of the world! MMWWWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *sucks in random fly* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!" *Nearly dies* *sweat drop* "Heh heh heh." She said blushing. "Our teacher is insane!" Yoh Whispered to Touga. (Yup he's back!) "Insane is just sane on a lunch break!" She said Happily.  
  
"Luna-Kitsune-Blu is that you?" Vash yelled Happily. "Vash? Vash!" She said happily. (That music plays. You know the one!) *Run into each others arms but just before the hug they both fall flat on their faces* (Music stops) "Ouch!" She and Vash cried. "Its worse than I thought" Yoh sighed. "No kidding." Said Amidamaru. "C'mon let's go play with the pieces of plastic melted to form the shape of Girls." Kayko (Yu Yu Hakusho) said. *All students sweat drop* "umm." *Rolls eyes* "Lets go play dolls." She said putting it into words they could understand. "Ohhhhh."  
  
Things Finally settled in as Yugi and Touga played blocks, Misty and Kayko played dolls, Yoh and Amidamaru played whack random people on the head; Freeza was perfecting the art of applying lipstick, Goku (from dragon ball Z) was eating (as usual), Inu Yasha was muttering things like, "They're all after it they all wants its" and "My preciousss" (While stroking his only shard of the Shikon jewel), Li was fighting with a Popsicle stick and Vash was playing power rangers. All the sudden Goku came running to the teacher crying. " Luna! (Heh heh heh to lazy to write luna- kitsune-blu, opps O_o) Freeza called me fat!" He cried. "Fat's just skinny with an attitude!" She exclaimed. *Beep* it was Luna's watch going off. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" She yelled. "What the crap?" Yugi questioned. "It's RAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEN time!" She screamed happily. They all stare at her. "SNACK TIME!" She yelled equally as hyper.  
  
They all sat down as she microwaved them each a bowl of ramen. "And for dessert, DOOOOOOOOOOONUUUUUUUUUUUUTSSS and a bag of SUUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" She yelled passing out the donuts and sugar. "And to drink, SUUUUUUUUUUUUNKIIIIIIIIIIIIST! Now with 75% more sugar!" She Yelled sounding happier than ever. "YAY! For Luna!" They yelled Becoming extremely high on sugar.  
  
"OK Blu-sama we're all kids and we're all extremely high on sugar what do we do?" Vash asked. "We run around trashing the school yelling even if there's 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999% chance of me getting fired!" She said jumping up and down. "Let's go!"  
  
They began by throwing red paint at people yelling, "Cotton is murder!" Next they hid in the lost and found and grabbed people hands when they were looking for stuff. After that they stood on top if the school and threw things such as shoes, books, desks, chairs and pencils at passer bys. Then first went into the grade one room and chucked a bag on fire in a girl's desk. The desk was quickly destroyed and the fire spread. They all laughed as the teacher ran in circles saying "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" over and over again. While they were laughing some one tapped Luna on the shoulder. It was the principal. O_o.  
  
"What were you thinking lighting another classroom on fire!?" The principal screamed. "I do what my rice crispies tell me to." She replied. "YOU ARE FIRED!" He yelled his face turning red. "You can't fire Blu-sama! She's the best teacher we ever had!" Vash yelled. "YEAH" The students yelled. *(Blu-sama) pulls out trusty blow torch* "Just another reason not to fire me!" She yelled aiming the blow at the principal. "Alright 'blu- sama' but this is your LAST chance! Now get out of here!" He yelled showing them the door. "If a single thing goes wrong I'll sue you for all your worth!" He yelled. " Your just jealous because the voices don't talk to you!" Luna replied, "GO NOW BEFORE I COME BACK TO MY SENSES ANDFIRE YOU!" He yelled. "Aye Aye Captain Crunch!" Blu-sama replied happily. "Out!" He said pointing to the door. "Never MMWWWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *sucks in random fly* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!" *Nearly dies* the principal rolled his eyes. "You are far by the worst teacher I've ever seen!" He said sounding quite amazed. "Life sucks, get a friggin' helmet!" She called heading back to her class.  
  
"Okay kids it's home time but tomorrow we're going on a field trip to, WAL-MART!"  
  
So the kids are going to Wal-Mart tomorrow. What will happen? Who will they annoy? Find out next time! (The more reviews the more I write, Okay?) Mwa ha ha more blu-sama! He he! 


	4. A trip to WalMart or when old ladies att...

Disclaimer: I do not own any anime featured in this story. (Or Wal-Mart, Or Spiderman)  
  
A trip to Wal-Mart or when old ladies attack and you get stuck behind an automatic door  
  
The kids watched as the stores passed one by one. McDonald's, Zellers, Sears (lmao death machine outlet store), McDonald's, Petro Canada (or for you Americans Petro America Jr.! lmao I'm so shallow), McDonald's, Hakim Optical (your eyes can have it all at Hakim Optical! Does the USA have any Hakim optical location? Holy crap I sound like I'm on a commercial. Man I put way too many author comments, ok no more!), Mc Donald's, McDonald's, Krusty Burger and so on. They arrived at Wal-Mart and got off the bus to see a sign reading 'Wa – Ma t' *M falls off* Never mind, it read 'Wa - a t' "Here we are kids Wa - a t!" Luna said excitedly. "Don't you mean Wal-Mart?" Asked Yoh. "Yeah, What ever."  
  
They headed into Wal-Mart, the automatic doors opened as they headed inside; at the very end of the line was Yoh. As he went to pick up a nickel the doors closed. "Okay there." Yoh said cocking his head at the door. "Automatic eh?" He said stepping in front of the door. It didn't open. "NO I HAVE NO SOUL!" He said turning to face the parking lot. *Door opens* Yoh turns to face the door but as soon as he does this door closes. "Alright door you're going down!"  
  
The kids get inside Wal-Mart to see 4 Isles. "Wow, it's even bigger than I imagined!" Said Yugi As the students stared in awe at all 4 isles. "Come children! The role of random annoying people who appear in Wal-Mart is ours!" Blu-sama declared as the kids set off to look down all 4 fantabulas isles.  
  
"Are you ready? In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Yugi called to Touga while they hid in a clothes rack. "Pick me! Pick me!" they shouted at an old lady who was looking through the pants. "JEWEL SHARD! Inu Yasha screamed attacking the crippled old lady. (I don't know why but it's funnier when sugar high children attack a frail old lady than if they attack a really young man! Remember when I said I wasn't going to do any more author comments? Well I lied.) "Must have jewel shard!" *is now foaming at mouth* "Give it to me!" *attempts to cut her open but then looks at her funny* "Mommy?" Inu Yasha said looking at her no longer drooling/ foaming at mouth. The old lady got back to her feet. *Begins swinging purse wildly at Inu Yasha she herself now foaming at mouth* "HiiiiiYaaaaaa!" *is doing granny ninja moves* "Take pepper spray you 'young wiper snapper!'" *Pulls out pepper spray at squirts it into Inu Yasha's eyes* "AHHHH! It burns!" He screamed. *Hisses then trips causing every thing on the shelf to topple on top of him* "Huh?" He said curiously. *Picks up package and reads label* "It's RRRRRRAAAAAAAMMMMEEEENNNN!" He yelled opening it up and eating the raw Ramen inside.  
  
~~~~Meanwhile somewhere on the other side of the store~~~~  
  
"My ramen sense is tingling" Said Luna starting to run to the other side of the store.  
  
"I knew it, RRRRRAAAAMMMMMEEEEENNNNN!" She said Jumping into the sea of uncooked ramen. *Begins eating ramen* (Toot! Toot! Lmao like in Popeye when he eats spinach! I should and some link characters to this story don't you think? Okay please vote it's going to be Ganondorf ((he he leprechaun)) or link or any other character you want to suggest.)  
  
"So how much is this baby here?" Asked Vash as he tried out one of those REALLY big guns like they have in terminator. (Haven't you always wanted a really, REALLY big gun just for a random purpose. *cough* killing Legolas *cough*) "Hey...uh where are the anti-Depressants?"  
  
Luna was riding down the hall in a shopping cart when another shopper turned the corner and they crashed into each other. "What the heck do you think you're doing you- Luna? Holy crap." The girl said sounding surprised. "Oh T9! Hi-I-ate-lotsa-ramen-and a-whole-bag-of-sugar-and-I-can't-believe- you're-here!" *Glomps T9* "Ack! Can't breathe!" *Passes out* "I must introduce you to the children!" *is now dragging T9 across the store*  
  
~~~~~~~Meanwhile outside~~~~~~~~  
  
"Why won't you open!?" *Yoh smashes shopping cart into door* "huh?" *turns around and sees Sesshomaru* "AHHHHHHHH!" *runs straight into door* "Owww" *door opens and Sesshomaru (A.K.A. fluffy) walks inside* "GRRRR!" *jumps inside just before door closes* "Woo! Hoo! I made it, yeah go me!" *sees other set of doors* "D'oh!"  
  
~~~~~~Inside Wal-Mart~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay every body this is my friend T9" *T9 is now sulking in self pity* "What did I do to deserve this?" T9 asks. *Sesshomaru appears* "I will kill you Inu-" "Sesshomaru!" another voice cried. "What the-" *A brown haired girl with green eyes pops out of nowhere* "FLUFFY!" *Glomps Sesshomaru* "uhhh... who are you?" Luna asked. "I am Hushiko the author! Yay!" She yelled jumping up and down. "Okay then." *Hushiko disappears* "there much better!" Sesshomaru said *everybody leaves* "Now Inu Yasha, you must die!" *tumble weed rolls by, followed by cricket noises*  
  
"I challenge you to a duel!" Li cried grabbing a roll of gift-wrap. "Oh you will regret the day you challenged Goku to a wrapping paper duel!" Goku yelled grabbing his wrapping paper roll. "HIYA!" He yelled Whacking Goku with his cardboard tube, Goku returned the favor. It was a battle for the ages, until a store manager took them to the front desk for 'disturbing the peace'.  
  
"Okay, there it he is, he's putting down the sign. Okay let's move!" Said Touga to Yugi as they ran out and grabbed the 'Caution: Wet Floor" sign and moved it into the clothes section. (Which is carpeted)  
  
~~~~~~Meanwhile in the cosmetics department~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh yes! That lipstick looks ravishing on you! And nail polish leaves me speechless! It's the perfect combination for 'Transexualy Evil'!" The lady said. "And what will be hot for good-guy-fighting this spring?" Freeza asked.  
  
"On your mark, get set, Go!" Li syoran cried as Vash and Blu-sama raced down the aisle in shopping carts. "I bet my blue-eyes white dragon that Blu- sama will win." Said yugi. "And I bet my lock of hair that Vash will win" Said Touga. "Your on!" said he (lol said he, *is rolling around on the floor laughing insanely*) *Blu-sama runs into wall* "Crap!" Said yugi handing over the card.  
  
All of the sudden a blow horn went off and Luna's voice called out that it was time to go. Just that moment Yoh burst through the door. "I'm in!" He yelled. "Okay kids let's go home." Luna said dragging T9. "Oh crap" Said Yoh. "Don't worry kids tomorrow we're having a karaoke party" Blu-sama yelled. So the kids headed to the bus. But someone was missing.  
  
"Why won't you open? Stupid door! Ahhhhhh!" Yoh screamed.  
  
The bus drove away but holding on to the bumper you could see a fluff, a fluff that was attached to fluffy! dun! Dun! DUN! 


	5. More Insanity and Torture

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the anime featured in this story.

Note to Blu-sama: I got the Trigun manga!!!! dances I'm soooo happy TT TT

Hushi: I'm reaaaallly sorry about the long 'no-update.' ::hangs head in shame:: But I had to ummmmmm..... WELL WHO CARES!!! JUST READ THE DAMN STORY!!!!

More Insanity and Torture

Blu Sama stepped into the deserted classroom, dragging T9 close behind her. She flicked on the lights and strapped T9 down to a chair. At that very moment Legato Bluesummers walked into the door. He took one look at the pair, turned around to exit. "LEGATO-SAMA!" T9 screeched breaking free from the chair then glomping her husband. Legato shuddered and twitched a little as his wife hung around his neck.

Blu Sama pointed and laughed at Legato's suffering. At that moment the bell rang and the kids entered the classroom. "Hey kids. Guess what. We have a special guest here today. Mr. Legato Bluesummers." The children screeched with joy as they latched on to their new play...thing. (Although I really wouldn't call legato...child safe.)

"Wait a second, is it just me, or are you supposed to be dead. And how can I be in kindergarten, and you be like 20?" Vash asked, using up most of his metal ability thinking up that question.

"Ummmmmm...time machine?" Legato answered.

"Good enough." Vash said shrugging.

At that very moment a loud crash sound was heard along with some gasps and laughter. Blu Sama went to investigate the crash. There sprawled out on the floor was A girl with chestnut hair and a red trench coat. She sat up and in her arms was fluffy, a.k.a. Sesshomaru. That's right it was her almighty authoress, Hushi.

"DAMNIT HUSHI!" Luna screamed. "How the hell am I supposed to clean this up?"

"Never fear." Hushi said snapping her fingers making the mess clean itself up.

Legato attempted to escape at this time as the two were distracted, but T9 was quick to whack him with a random tennis racket, then drag him back to the chair, using duct tape. (Which EVERYONE knows is impossible to escape from, mind controller or not. Speaking of which, I don't know why he didn't escape using them in the first place, but what fun would that be?))

Hushi put down fluffy with a glint of 'insanity' in her eyes. She walked up to legato doing that weird whistling thing cartoons do when they're pretending to be innocent. She laughed and pointed at legato, then yelled. "Blu Sama said that you're a gaywad!"

With a flash of insanity, and instant noodles, Hushi was being strangled by Blu Sama. Hushi gagged as Luna shook her around a little. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY I CALLED HIM THAT!" T9 walked over to them.

"YOU SAID WHAT!?" Said T9 Menacingly. "You're going down. And soon after they were all in a scramble. T9 was punching Blu Sama, Blu Sama was gnawing on Hushi's ankle, and Hushi was doing nothing but getting her ass kicked.

It was lucky for all of them, especially Hushi, that at that very moment a very tattered and bruise Yoh Asakura walked through the door bleeding, and looking like he spent the last month in a dumpster. It was only moments later that he collapsed on the floor. The events afterwards were as follows, Sesshomaru attempted to eat Yoh, Hushi Picked him up and huggled him, talking about how she'd always wanted her very own Asakura and then suddenly there appeared a young boy wearing a red uniform and a yellow scarf.

"They call me cyborg 009, defender of good, drinker of milk. I'm here to protect this boy from further torture!" Said the little, itsy, bitsy cyborg.

"No! Wait, but we didn't do any thing to him! WE went to Wal-Mart and he got trapped behind the automatic doors!" T9 screeched.

"Ohhhh!" Said Luna to a Yoh Asakura who was finally starting to come around. "So that's where you were all this time. I was beginning to wonder."

"You'd think you would have noticed, after all I was behind transparent doors." Said Yoh in a very sarcastic/ pissed off voice. Amidamaru, who had appeared over yoh's head nodding his head as the young shaman spoke.

Hushi was quick to scoop him up. Hushi looked over to Luna and T9. "AWWWW! CAN WE KEEP IT!?" Asked Hushi as the cyborg made futile attempts to escape from Hushi's clutches. All of the others rolled there eyes at her patheticness. "YAY!!!" She shouted jumping up and down, and then pretended to turn a hat backwards. "I caught...A CYBORG!"

"LAME POKEMON IMATATION!" Shrieked Misty as she pointed at Hushi in horror.

"At least she's not FROM pokemon, you pokeball throwing loser! Ha! Ha!" Blu Sama laughed.

And thus there was another fight, and once again, Hushi got her ass kicked. She whined about it for a while the snuggled fluffy for a while. Soon after the bell rang and everyone left, except for all the non anime characters, Legato and fluffy. The non anime characters had to plan the next...'lesson,' and as for fluffy Hushi claied he was there for her personal comfort...


	6. Kids are cannibals! So are Hamsters!

disclaimer: I don't own any anime featured in this story.

Kids are cannibals! So are Hamsters!

Just as the bell rang blu-sama woke up. She, T9, Legato, and Hushi had all crashed on the classroom floor in sleeping bags. Well except Legato who was locked in the closet, thanks to the efforts of Hushi and Blu- Sama. (Their reason was they didn't want any 'funny' buissness) As for fluffy he had escaped via the ventalation system.

It was at that very moment that the door burst open and before the could do anything a herd of kids trampeled them all. (after all children are the most in human, murderous, hamster-like beings known to man kind.) Hushi of course being the almighty authouress, merely snapped her fingers to make the children not trample her, and legato was in the closet so he was safe, for the moment. So that left blu-sama and T9 to be stomped all over. Hushi laughed at them, only to have her ass kicked soon after.

Once everyone was orginized (Ha! Orginized, now there's a word i don't use very often!) Blu sama had a very important announcement to make. "Everyone, tommorow we'll be doing secret santa so everyone pick a name from this here hat." She said pointing at really, REALLY tacky novelty santa hat.

"Wait!" Yelled Hushi, just as Blu announced this. "That might be ofensive to those of other beliefs! I don't wanna take any chances."

"Okay, how about secret holiday gift exchange?" Asked T9 who, like the others had forgotten that legato was still locked in the closet.

Hushi gasped "But what if they don't belive in gifts?"

"Okay, secret object exchange!" Squeled Blu-sama.

"But keeping secrets is bad!" Argued Hushi. The...erm... teachers all huddled up together and moments later broke up. "We've made a decision." Said hushi loudly "It will be called ... The safe exchange of childsafe and non-offensive goods." A tumbleweed rolled by as she said this, followed closely by the sound of chirping crickets. Hushi grabbed the tumbleweed. "PETEY!!!! MY OLD COLLEGE ROOMMATE!! Err...highschool roomate." (Luna: You're not even in highschool yet... Hushi:BITE ME!)

"Where do you think everyone went to?" Asked T9. Then at that very moment very, VERY strange noises were heard from the closet. "LEGATO!!" Shreiked T9 as she literally ripped off the door.

What they found inside was very frightning indeed, There sat The children, and a large herd of hamsters, eating legato alive. T9 shreiked in sheer terror, as she grabbed her legato tying to save him from being eaten. Hushi and Blu-sama almost peed their pants laughing. Unfortunatly that was something T9 just wasn't going to stand for, And thus she kicked both their asses.

The next day....

Blu sama was the only one left, T9 was in the hospital waiting for legato to get out of the hospital and Hushi was off looking for fluffy in the ventalation system. So that left Blu and of course the kids. anyways it was nearly time for the kids to arrive.

"Riiiiing."The kids walked into the classroom it was odly quiet. (Which may have some thing to do with the fact they were eating Legato alive yesterday. If I were them I would'nt put that thing in my mouth, after all it'ss 'Legato'.) Blu sama told them to sit down in a very stern angry voice. "You should all be very ashamed for what you did to mr. Legato." She said pacing back in forth. "..After all i told you specifically, to aim beetween the eyes! Gnaw his god damn face off!" Luna sighed. "Well I guess it's time for plan B. I call it operation Legato is a weirdo who keeps snails in his pencil box! Then everyone will know how wierd he rally is and hate him! Then he'll be at the mercy of his own fan girls! Mwa ha ha! It's evil, Terrible..TACOS!"

At that moment scurrying was heard from inside the air vents. Everyone looked up and out of the vent came out an uber (ha ha! Uber... I loooooves that word) kawaii tiny Seshomaru dog form...er...puppy form. Yoh asakura Shreiked. "PUPPY!!!" As he sprang up and chased the puppy around in circles. The puppy barked and turned back into fluffy, who then gave Yoh asakura the finger, and then yoh bit off his finger. "OWWWWIE! You little &$#!"

"This calls for a trip to the hospital!" Called another voice. They all looked up to see hushi stuck in the vent with an evil look on hwer face. Blu sama smirked why yes it does. all the kids looked at each other, except for Yugi who was busy looking for moon rocks up his nose.

There was no bus avalible at the time so they all found them cramming into Hushi's manga-mobile.

Which was crammed full of so much manga you could barely even breathe, but since this is my fic they defy the laws of all logic. So as was saying they were on they're way to the hospital to get yoh's finger sewn back on. Luckily the hospital wasn't far away becaise in the middle of the trip to the hospital the Manga Mobile broke down and it was decided that the kids would walk the rerst of the way. (Hushi stayed behind frantically trying to fix the car.)

When they finally did arrive Yoh was sent to a room full of sewing machines to wait in line, so blu and the other kids went to find T9 and Legato. While they were there they insidently wandered on to the psyhco ward, which was basically a series of padded rooms. They went to the front desk to ask where they could find Legato's room, when behind the front desk they spotted a poster feraturing this weeks escapees. And there beetween Radical Edward and Ayame Sohma Was a poster of Blu Sama. Underneath it said 'Reward 60 million double dollars, and a pizza.' The kids looked at the poster then back at blu sama, grinning evilly.

"Hey, blu sama." Touga said eyeing her. "How would youlike a nice, white jacket."

"I know what you're thinking, and no." Said blu sama strictly.

"Awwwww... come on" Whined Yugi.

"I said NO!" Blu sama continued. "You wouldn't believe how long it took me to get the spoon i used to escape with last time!"

"I am A cyborg and I fight for good! Therefore i must put you where you belong!" Screeched 009. "Prepare to die, or something less violent!"

"BRING IT ON!" Blu sama challenged.

"Oh I will!!!" The cyborg smirked, then suddenly the room turned dark. "Now you'll pay." The wityh a flash of light the cyborg had summoned a herd of ferocious bunnies. "ATTACK!"

this scene has been cut out of the fic do to extreme violence and gore

Screen goes black

"Ouch, That's gotta hurt"

"Is that suposed to bend that way?"

screen fades back in

As the class continued on it's way down the hall looking for T9 and Legato's room, (Blu sama and cyborg 009 had come to an agrrement, so long as the class didn't turn her in she wouldn't beat them to a bloody pulp.) That's when they came upon a padded room with 'anime kindergarten teacher' written above the door. The students looked at each other and smiled evilly, except for those who had arrived during 'blu sama's reign.'

The door creaked open and sure enough in the middle of the room tightly wrapped in a straight jacket, was the original teacher of the anime kindergarten class. "Her eyes widened as she released who it was. "No...no! Get away! Not them, leave me alone!"

Vash walked up to her grinning widely. "We made you this card." He said handing her a card that had a scribbly drawing of her playing with the kids, and it read "we're sorry we made you sad!" (ha ha, i watch too many Lehendary Frog videos) in unreadble printing and with a few extra backwards letters.

Thats When she snapped, "OH GOD, SHOOT ME NOW!!!!!!" The children smirked in satisfaction at this, and then touga walked up.

"Mrs. Teacher number one, where do babys come from?" He said with a smirk of evilness.

The teacher shreiked in terror, As the children looked at each other with a sickeningly satisfied look on each of thier little bloodthirsty faces.

"Let's bring her with!" Chimed Goku, a rope in one hand and a wagon being pulled in the other.

"Yes, let's." Said the others girnning evilly.

And thus The children broke The original teacher out of the pyscho ward and continued on their so called journey. Looking through hall after hall until finally they came to the front desk.

"Got any evil pshco's here m'am?" Blu sama asked casually.

"Yes, we do." She said curiously raising one eyebrow.

"Any that are gaywads." Blu sama said leaning over the desk.

"Mr. Bluesummers, room 707, for the love of sweet baby jesus, TAKE HIM HOME!" Screeched the woman, grabbbing on to Blu's sleeve.

"Uhhhh, yeah sure." She said prying her off of her sleeve.

Thus They finally did find legato's room, so they walked in(duh) and there on the bed was legato, legs pulled up against his chest, rockingback and forth...

Yes, a cliffhanger. Yes i'm too lazy to finish. ha ha, to make up for my laziness, I give you, an extra scene!!!!

::luna, T9 and Legato sock puppets appear on a card board stage::

sock puppet Luna: I is luna. I likes to calls the legatos gaywadses

sock puppet T9: I is the T9, I likes the violence.

sock puppet Legato: I is the legato, I likes the puddin' pops.

Real T9: You like WHAT!?

Real Luna: Awwww, come on sempai, that's not true. You should try not to be such a sour puss.

Real T9: I'll sour YOUR puss! ::Throttles::

Real luna: ::gasp:: Need! ::gasp:: AIR! ::Gasp:: TO LIVE!!!

Real legato: Mmmmm... puddin' pops.

THE END!!!!!!!


	7. Escape from the Hospital

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime that appears in this fic.

Okay there are a few things I must say before we start…

1. T9 and Luna… your reviews are kick-ass, I find myself rolling around on the floor laughing every time I read them. Yes… Awesomeness smothered in awesome-sauce.

2. Damn you Luna! Now I'm utterly addicted to trigun!

3. I'm SO sorry this took so long! As a reward I'm gonna do my best to fit all my loyal fans into the story somewhere, just tell me in a review and you can be an extra! Maniacal laughter

3. Humor me here for a second while I go all whiney and stuff. I have been getting some nasty reviews for this story lately and I just wanted to let those people know that I am offended by their reviews. It's not that I have a problem with flames, it was how those particular flames were written. One in particular was very rude and uncalled for. You can hate my writing all you want but it won't change the fact that many people read and enjoy my writing. Yeah, I know a lot of the people in the story are out of character but it's a parody. Let loose and have some fun. And if you hate it that much, why did you waste time writing a review for it, honestly. As one by Sadako said: "this story was so boring that i couldn't get passed the title of da damn story." Haven't you people ever heard the quote "You can't judge a book by it's cover." Yeah, yeah, I'm done now.

Escape From The Hospital

"LUUUUUNAAAA-SAAAAAN!" Legato shrieked leaping of the hospital bed and latching onto Luna's arm. "Take me home! Take me home! Take me HOME. PLEASE!"

"Ack! It's touching me! Get it off!" Luna shrieked waving her arm around in a completely desperate attempt to get Legato off her arm. Luna stared at the students pathetically. "Well, are you going to help me or not?"

The children glanced around at each other and shook their heads. Luna glared daggers at them for quite some time before beating Legato to a bloody pulp forcing him to release her.

"Hurry someone get me a bottle of hand sanitizer or something, I think his suckyness is spreading up my arm!" Luna yelled as a black spot slowly spread up her arm. Yugi sighed getting some soap and proceeding to rub off the 'blackness.'

"It could have been worse…I mean they say if your touched by a certain uber-sucking character you will melt instantly." Said Syaoran as Luna and all of the other children glared at Marcus from fire emblem who had randomly appeared in the room moments ago.

"What are you all looking at?" The purple haired loser asked in confusion. They all glared daggers at him for moment, shortly followed by him bursting into flames. (Because I say so and he needs to burn. BURN I SAY!)

Luna sighed, sitting in the chair situated next to the hospital bed. "What are you so clingy about anyway? It's starting to creep me out, really now." Luna said with a disgusted look on her face.

"Lu-Luna- It's-it's HORRIBLE!" Legato managed to say before bursting out into tears. "This hospital… it-it has a rule…" Legato was in a full out sob at this point.

"Pull yourself together man!" Shouted Touga from the crowd of children that was forming around his hospital bed.

"He's got a point there…" Luna said crossing her arms. "So…? Spit it out already!"

No longer crying, but still sniffling quite a bit Legato spoke in a shaky voice. "In this hospital the don't allow patients to eat puddin' pops!" Legato once again broke out into tears as the entire class let out a gasp of horror.

"Th-that's just sick." Muttered Inu Yasha. "They must be up to something."

"I know!" He screeched breaking into sobs again. "I just don't know what do to any more! I'm gonna die with a pudding pop free system!"

"Be quiet Legato." The group turned to see T9 standing in the room rummaging through her bag. "I smuggled some in for you." Legato looked at her hopefully.

"Are they banana flavoured?" He questioned hopefully.

"Of course not." T9 said tossing one of the pudding pops in his general direction.

"Well then shouldn't we just take him and get out of here?" Luna asked, getting many reassuring nods from the kids. "I mean we gotta get this plot rolling."

"Right." Legato said, getting up, dressed only in his hotdog boxers. ( Yes Luna, I read your stories. And everyone else should go read them too.) "Let's get out of here."

With that the large group, and the half mental teacher in a wagon exited the building.

flash to sewing room 

"I hope Luna comes back for us soon." Yoh said looking up at his ghost companion. Who let out an unsettled grunt. "I bet she'll be back real soon."

the next day 

A strange feeling loomed in the air, as a poster had been posted just outside the classroom doors. The school was putting on a play. But not just any play. A musical. But not just any musical. The wizard of Oz.

Upon seeing this an inhuman cry was let out from inside the school. "I'M THE DIRECTOR! OH!"

T9 looked over the stunned Luna's shoulder. "A musical, eh?" An evil grin spread across her face.

Luna stared in disbelief. "You're not thinking of getting them to come are you?" Luna asked. "I mean that's just crazy!"

"Crazy like a fox!" She said dashing off in search of a working telephone.

"Senpai! WAIT!" She called running after. A confused legato exited the classroom, still just wearing his boxer shorts, wondering what all the screaming was about. But all his questions were answered when he saw the advertisement for the musical.

"Noooooo!" He screamed running back into the class room to cower under a desk.

flash to sewing room 

"Any minute now… they wouldn't forget me again! I just know they're coming!"

insert dun Dun DUN! Here 

Well that's all for today kids. I've been meaning to do this for awhile now! I'm sorry! On a random not my name is changed! CHE HE HE HE!

In any case, who is this 'they' and why is Legato so scared?

Find out next time (hopefully not a year later) on anime kindergarten!

And due to last time's popularity I present…SOCK PUPPET THEATRE #2!

T9 puppet: CUT THE FAT WITH A NEW AND IMPROVED GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL XDLOLOL!

Legato puppet: 100 pudding pop attack! twitches like mad

T9 puppet: Quiet you fool.

Luna puppet: I'm going to eat some orange juice!

Legato Puppet: LET'S SING THE PUDDING POP SONG! I WANT CHOCOLATE, I WANT VANILLA, PUDDING, PUDDING PLEASE DELIVER!

Real T9: What's the difference between the regular grill and that one?

Real Luna: eats some orange juice This one's red.

Real T9: O rly?

Real Luna: Ya rly.

Legato: I want vanilla, I want chocolate…


End file.
